The Greatest Night of my Exsistense
by Lexi Logan
Summary: Bella and Edward's honeymoon night. This story is written from Edwards point of view, and is meant to fill in the gap that Stephanie Mayer left in Breaking Dawn.


Missing Moments Contest

Title: The Greateast Night of my Exsistense

Your pen name:Lexi Logan

Pairing:Edward & Bella

Rating:M

Disclaimer:My story but Stephanie Meyers characters. I own nothing.

Summary: Edward & Bellas honeymoon night from EPOV

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The Greatest Night of my Existence

I swam deep under the water, a million thoughts running through my head. So, the moment had arrived. I had tried so hard to convince her that this would be impossible. I had not fooled her. She knew as I did, I could do this. There was no way I would be able to hurt her. She was my life. But still, the fear was there, in my chest. What if I did hurt her?

I had never tried this before! I didn't know what my reaction to making love to Bella would be. Just kissing her drove me wild with desire and thirst. Feeling her hot body against mine brings me to the edge of the tight control I have on myself. I want, so much, to squeeze her tightly to me. But I fear I will crush her. Would I be able to make love and still keep control?

I had asked Emmett and Jasper on my stag night what to expect, and chuckling they had told me that it would be fantastic if Bella was a vampire but as a human they didn't know.

They took me to a very seedy strip club, the voices I heard in my head repulsed me. I couldn't wait to leave. My stupid brothers had tried to convince me to experiment having sex with one of the woman…I couldn't have done that, not to Bella. Even if I had agreed to try it would have been pointless. These woman held no attraction for me. I had walked out as soon as they suggested I try.

They didn't mean it to be insulting, they just thought it would be prudent to try and make love to a human to make sure I didn't kill her. It was thoughtful in a way. They cared about Bella and didn't want her hurt either. But what would keep Bella alive, was my love for her, not practice.

I wanted Bella to be my first anyway, like I would be her first. With a rush of disgust at myself, I realised it was the human Bella I wanted first too. The Bella I fell in love with, the Bella who blushed when I touched her. I wanted to hear her heart race and feel the way her racing heart would push the blood faster around her beautiful, soft, fragile body.

As I surfaced from the water I heard the shower turn off in the house. I knew she would soon come to me. I dipped under the water and swam until I was nearer to the shore and then stood still. I was waist deep in the water, with my back to the house, looking at the moon.

I could almost feel her fear, and wished for a moment I could be like Jasper and help her to calm down. I was close to losing it myself but I had to have complete control of myself tonight. It would take all my strength, but I would do it. I'd do it for my Bella.

I heard her slowly walking in the sand towards the beach and hesitate at the edge of the water. I let my hands float just on the surface wondering if it was warm to her. It felt very sensual on my body. Warm and caressing. I kept my eyes on the moon, afraid to look at her. My dead heart threatened to explode in my chest. I felt her stand next to me and put her warm hand on top of mine. Still, I couldn't look at her. I was afraid of seeing her fear, and worse, I was afraid of her seeing mine.

'Beautiful' she sighed.

My eyes left the moon for a fraction of a second; she would not have seen it with her human eyes. She was looking up at the moon. I wanted to look into her eyes; I needed to see if she was OK. Taking a breath and ignoring the fire in my throat I turned to her.

'It's all right,' I said dismissively, 'but I wouldn't use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison.'

She was unbelievably beautiful, her fragile body naked and warm. Her skin was so pale in the moonlight. She almost looked like the vampire that Alice had seen in her visions. I felt myself looking hungrily at her, her slender neck and my favourite collar bone jutting out. Her breasts were perfect, exactly in proportion and tipped with darker pink nipples. I groaned inside with longing. I wanted to take her to the bedroom and look at her naked body. I wanted to explore all the places I had imagined and no longer have any part of her a mystery. But I needed to take this slowly, so I forced my eyes back to her beautiful pale face.

Her eyes met mine and I marvelled at the depth of them. They were filled with vulnerability, but she had made her mind up and I knew she was determined to have this moment. I intertwined my fingers with hers. Just this, just her fingers wrapped around mine was almost too much to bear. She had no idea, what it felt like. Human senses were so dull compared to my own enhanced ones. A human heart would not survive feeling what I would feel with Bella, when I made her fully my wife.

Looking at her I wondered if she knew how beautiful she was, she never saw herself properly. I reminded myself that this was not the vampire Alice had seen. This was my Bella, human and fragile.

I knew I couldn't bear it if I hurt her. What if I did something wrong? I didn't have any more experience than Bella! I had read many books about it. I had spent months reading up everything I could on how to give a woman pleasure whilst Bella had slept next to me.

It had taken all my control not to make love to her while she slept, or even to just take care of myself. But I hadn't. I had waited, because I wanted to share this moment with her. Knowing it would be perfect. Now I wished I had at least tried to pleasure myself. At least then I would have some idea of how it felt to climax.

What if I hurt her? This was ridiculous, I had no idea what to expect and I was putting Bella at risk. For a fleeting second I wondered if Jazz and Emmett had been right, and I should have slept with the whore at the club. I shuddered at the thought. No I would not regret that. I just had to make her promise to tell me if I hurt her or worse still, if I did something wrong. I was finally equal with her. We were both equal in our vulnerability.

'I promised we would try. If….if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.' Oh dear God, please don't let me hurt her.

She nodded her head and looked into my eyes. I felt my cold stone body catch fire. She took a step closer to me and laid her head against my chest.

'Don't be afraid, she murmured 'We belong together.'

And in that moment I knew she was right. I had tried with all my might to be what she deserved. In the end this is what she had, me, forever. And I would try forever to deserve her. If I could cry tears I would have been crying them now. Wrapping my arms around her, fire on ice, I whispered the truth back to her, the truth that I would always love her.

'Forever' I whispered.

I pulled her with me deeper into the water, hoping it would calm her slightly. Her heart was hammering so hard I was concerned.

Feeling her naked body against mine was as wonderful as I'd imagined. Better. Her breasts and thighs pressed against me, felt soft and the water was helping to tame the differences in our temperatures. I wondered if my body felt as good to her.

I marvelled at how I didn't even feel embarrassed as my penis, hard and long, was pressed against her body. I spent a lot of time in Bellas' company aroused, but I always hid it from her. I was ashamed of how easily she could control my body.

Her heart began to beat at a less alarming rate so I swam to shallower water where she could stand up. I pushed her wet hair away from her neck and slowly kissed my way from her jaw down to her shoulder. Slowly I walked around and stood behind her. I pushed her hair further around, draping it over her other shoulder. Gently I kissed the back of her neck. The wetness from the water only accentuated her smell. The heat coming from the nape of her neck mixed with water radiated an intoxicating aroma.

I wrapped my arms around her cupping her breasts. She leaned against me and reached her arms around to grip me by my hips, pulling me closer to her. I didn't want to wait anymore. I couldn't. I swept her up into my arms and made my way to the bedroom.

She was light as a feather to me. I held her close hoping I wasn't making her feel cold, but too selfish not to have her as close as possible. The bedroom was dimly lit but I could see perfectly. My eyes didn't need light, but I hoped it would help Bella not to feel so self-conscious.

I laid her on the bed and stood besides her looking at every inch of her. She raised her hand to reach for me and I noticed as she did that her hand was trembling. She opened her mouth to speak, but quickly I placed a finger on her lips.

'Sshhh, just let me take my time, I've waited for this for…so…long.' My voice broke with emotion as I lowered myself onto the bed beside her.

I pulled my eyes from hers and trailed my finger from her lips down her chin and across the side of her throat. I looked at my hand and spread my fingers out across her neck. My skin was paler than hers but not by much.

My eyes followed my hand over her collar bone and then down over her breast. I marvelled at how her nipple hardened beneath my touch as I delicately stroked my thumb across it. I knew this was a good thing - her body was preparing for me. Slowly again, I moved my hand down over the silky smooth skin of her stomach and slender hip, then carrying on down to linger on her thigh. I moved my hand to the inside of her thigh, knowing the skin there would be even softer. I heard her gasp and saw her skin react to my touch, covering her in goose bumps.

'Are you cold?' I asked. I wished with all my life that I was human. I wanted this moment to just be about me and her. Without this fear of hurting her, without wondering if my body was too cold to be on hers without her being uncomfortable.

'No', she said 'I'm perfect'

I edged my body closer to her and lowered my mouth to hers, kissing her. Slowly at first and then with growing intensity. Her lips parted eagerly as I pushed my tongue into her mouth. It was so hot inside her mouth I felt my stomach knot in anticipation of what it would feel like be inside Bella.

Bella reacted fiercely to my kiss, wrapping her self around me, her hands grasping my back. I knew if I had been human my back would have red scratches down it now. I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips. Bella needed this as much as I did. I pushed my hand into her wet hair and pulled her head back, arching her neck. My lips moved down, my tongue never leaving her skin. I could almost taste her blood through the paper-thin skin on her neck. The temptation to bite her was intense at that moment but I fought it, concentrating on moving past her pulse point and further down her body.

I was so eager to taste those perfect breasts, feel the perfect buds of her nipples on my tongue. Bella was moaning and running her hands all over my body. She was in ecstasy and knowing that reassured me too. I knew if the worst happened, I would be able to save her life, if not her soul. This is what she wanted, and I admitted to myself, it was what I wanted too.

As I teased her nipple with my tongue I moved my hand ever so slowly to her inner thigh again. I felt the soft downy hair that was nestled there. I pushed my fingers as gently as I could into her. It was so moist and hot. I knew that Bella had spent a lot of time as aroused as I was. I could often smell her aroused state. It had a smell that was different to sweat or salvia, and I ached to taste it. Fearing I would hurt her I decided it would have to wait. Instead I rolled on my back pulling Bella over with me.

She got up on all fours and cradled herself over me. She started kissing my neck, and then licked and nibbled her way down my chest. I groaned in ecstasy at the unfamiliar feeling. Her hot hands smoothed over my body and, with a nervous look at me, she took my penis in her hand. Her touch was feather soft and exquisite as her fingers explored my length in the same curious way I had explored her. I let a moan escape me, and reached both my hands up to cradle her breasts.

'Bella, will you stay on top? I fear I will push to hard'.

'OK' was all she said, but I could hear the fear in her voice. I hoped she wouldn't feel any pain.

Ever so slowly she lowered herself onto me. She was very well lubricated but it still felt incredibly tight. I was not prepared for just how she would feel. I groaned with pleasure, Bella felt hot and soft yet I felt the pressure from her muscles gripping me. I wanted to push myself deep into her but knew this would be impossible. I had to go at Bella's pace. I had to have control.

I lay as still as I could, my hands trying not to grip her hips too hard. Having control over my desire would be the only way we would survive intact. I felt the end of my penis meet with resistance and I knew this was Bella's hymen. I was proud that it was me whom she had chosen. Me whom she had thought worthy of breaking it. She was my Bella, my beautiful wife. I looked right into her eyes, into her soul. She was perfect.

'I love you,' I said, my voice shaking with emotion. Did she understand in this moment, the intensity off my love?

'I love you too,' she said, the emotion in my voice echoed back to me in hers. Yes she understood! Somehow she loved me the same way. I silently thanked God for her; an eternity in hell would be worth this moment.

I felt the thin skin break and asked if she was OK. She nodded back and lowered herself down. I was completely in her now, and could feel her quivering around me. There were no words to describe this feeling. Words were not enough.

Bella began to move now, slowly at first and then gaining pace. I moved my hands down to her buttocks and tried again not to grip her to tight. It felt like electricity pulsing through my body. Nothing could have prepared me for this, and no one would have felt like this.

We were perfect together, even as vampire and human, we were still meant to be, and now I finally believed it.

Bella moaned softly and I worried that it was hurting her. Sensing my hesitation she met my eyes with hers. They were molten with love and longing and I knew that it was pleasure making her moan, not pain.

Bella's soft moans were becoming more intense, and suddenly I became aware of how I was on fire in my groin. It was not an unpleasant fire; it was the most sensual fire I had ever felt. My breath was coming in gasps, and I was moaning Bella's name over and over.

The fire that was in my groin grew and spread over my stomach. It was pulsing down my legs. Bella's muscles were clamped around me, tightening and throbbing. Then the fire in my stomach collected back on itself and I felt my penis throb too.

I realised that I was holding Bella too tight and quickly moved my hands behind me and gripped the pillow instead. The material disintegrated between my stone fingers, spilling feathers over my chest.

I looked at her face and reached up to hold her cheek in my palm, she called out my name and her whole body shook. I felt my own orgasm explode from me and felt my semen spurt inside her. My orgasm was explosive but Bella's came in waves. She jerked back and forward, and with a final gasp fell forward onto me. She was still for a while and I felt her breath steady itself.

I could have stayed like that forever, but I knew she would soon become uncomfortable. I lifted her up and gently lay her beside me. She was quiet, but I knew she was ok. We both were. I had done it. I hadn't killed her. I took another look at her and smiled. She was already sleeping. The journey and love making had exhausted her.

She looked so beautiful. Her cheeks flushed an exquisite red. I wanted her again, my body already gearing up for a replay. As I cradled her close to me though, I knew that I had to let her sleep. She would need to regain some energy before I could make love to her again...

I watched her sleep for a couple hours. She looked so peaceful. She had a contented smile playing around her mouth. I longed to kiss her lips again but I had been selfish enough. I'd let her sleep first.

She sighed and turned on her side. I automatically rolled with her, keeping her close to me. For once my coolness was a comfort to her. The heat in the room was stifling and she needed me to keep her cool. Well that was my excuse…

I felt my arousal begin again as the whole of my body moulded to hers, not a millimetre between us. I felt her stir in my arms, and could tell from her breathing and heart rate she was awake again.

'Mrs Cullen, I want you again!' I growled in her ear.

She giggled and turned her face towards me. I reached my face around to meet hers and kissed her with as much force as was safe. It was frustrating beyond belief, like trying to hold a snowflake in a vice without damaging it. I constantly had to reign myself in. In contrast her kiss was given with as much strength as she could summon. Her lips squashed to me with her urgent need, but my cold stone lips were unmoved. Hers just moulded themselves around mine.

I reached my hand round and cupped her breast, whilst our kiss intensified. Little gasps escaped from Bella which fueled my passion. We had barely begun yet we were both ready. I could smell Bella's arousal. I felt her reach down between her legs and grasp me. She guided me into her, already wet with longing. I was taken back by her boldness. Where was the Bella from a few hours ago, trembling and blushing with fear and self consciousness? I understood… her passion was as great as mine, over taking her senses, but one of us had to have control.

'Bella, no, you must go on top! I'm not sure I can control myself!'

'Edward, please, I promise….I'll tell you if you hurt me'

I couldn't turn her down. She had a power over me I didn't understand! Slowly and gently I moved my pelvis forwards and backwards. Feeling myself move in Bella was too exquisite for words. It caught me on fire and made me feel truly alive.

Hearing Bella's moans of pleasure only spurred me on. Harder I thrust into her, only wishing I could go deeper. I was lost in my passion for her. Holding her hips in place and fixing her to me, I manoeuvred her onto all fours. Yes, that was better, much deeper.

I kept one hand on her hip and moved the other up her back, gripping her side and pushing myself into her. I held a steady pace for a while whilst I moved a hand round to help stimulate her clitoris, hoping I was doing it right.

My breath was coming in gasps and I tried to control the fire in my groin. I wanted it to last longer this time. I slowed whenever I was near orgasm, and then built up speed again when I could. Bella was moaning with pleasure and I smiled at how we seemed to be built for each other.

I pulled out of her and sat back on my heels. She turned to me and I pulled her onto my lap facing me this time. I manoeuvred her into position and she gasped as I once again entered her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed one hand into my hair; she let her head fall back and pushed her breasts against my chest.

My arms were tight around her and I kissed every part of her I could reach, taking time to lick in the soft dip by my favourite collar bone. I started to move again. Bella joined in and matched my rhythm. I held her tighter still, and knew I was close to crushing her. Yet she didn't ask me to loosen my grip. She seem to be caught up in her own pleasure, she opened her eyes a fraction and looked into mine. They were full of emotion, smouldering, my breathe caught in my throat seeing her pleasure.

I knew if I orgasm-ed while holding her I would hurt her, so in one fluid movement I had her laid under me. I used my arms to keep my weight of her and thrust myself deeply into her.

'Edward, now, please,' she said, her voice husky.

I moved faster and faster, and hoped I wouldn't dislocate her joints. I was so close now. I could feel the fire rebound on itself and throb through my penis. Bella's back arched and she screamed her pleasure. Her muscles quivered around me and my own orgasm thundered into her. I felt something rip in my hand and fear gripped me. My eyes flew open to see what I had done. Relief washed over me as I realised I was holding the remains of another pillow.

That was too close. Trembling I rested my head on her shoulder. I could never risk this beautiful woman again. I looked up at her face. Her eyes were glistening with tears of joy. Her lips were swollen from my kisses and her cheeks flushed red. I would have found this moment amusing had I not been scared of how close I had just been to hurting Bella.

We were both covered in feathers. Bella's hair was full of them. She didn't seem to have noticed. I lay next to her and pulled her into my arms again, knowing that it would not be long before she was asleep again.

'Bella you are too beautiful,' I whispered into her ear. I could feel her smile against my chest, and heard her sigh contentedly.

At least we had had one night together. I would not risk her again. I also knew that once she was a vampire, it would be better. But I wouldn't tell her that. She was in enough of a rush to end her human life. No, I would keep that to myself.


End file.
